Ask about this moment
Is it a new task, being watched or comparing themselves with someone else? “Which bit feels difficult?” leaves room for an answer. Try not to turn one moment into a fixed description of your child.
Make the first attempt smaller
Choose one part to try first. Let your child say whether they want help. Being supportive does not always mean taking over the hardest bit.
Notice specifics, not rankings
“You asked another question when you weren’t sure” says more than a comparison with a sibling. It gives you something real to talk about: what helped and what they might try again.
Know when to ask for help
Persistent self-doubt, distress or increasing withdrawal deserve a professional assessment. Coaching may help with appropriate everyday goals, but it is not diagnosis or treatment.